My Many Questions
by emo barbie
Summary: There are so many questions which we ask ourselves each day...and many of them can never be answered...but that has never stopped me from asking them. JDox. Short episode like chapters.


Title: **My Many Questions**

Author: **Emo Barbie**

Summary: **There are so many questions which we ask ourselves each day...and many of them can never be answered...but that has never stopped me from asking them. **

Pairing: **Mostly Perry/JD, maybe some other pairings.**

Disclaimer: **Perry would like to remind you that Emo Barbie own's nothing of scrubs, other then the fics that she writes of course, the show belongs to Bill Lawerance, so do the character's, she own's none, no matter how much she wishes it will never happen...just like pigs will never fly, rainbows will never produce gold and that fat guy will never come down at invisible chimney you think is in your wall, carrying a ninth demansion bag that's supposed to carry all the toys for those thousands of little girls and boys around the world, yes I mean Santa.**

Extra: **I have always had questions that I had wondered about, and a lot of the time's I've come up with explanation's for them, so I decided that I would make a series of my questions into a scrubs fanfic ^_^ Hope you enjoy.**

_Italics: _J.D's thoughts

**My Not so Perfect**

**Doctor.**

_There's always a feeling of guilt, and misery whenever you walk into the room of a deceased patient, especially if you have to talk to the patients family. _

"Mrs. Willous?" J.D looked around the room, the family looking at him with anticipation of what news he carried. The mother of the women, who had stood up at the call of her name, had been sent into surgery, and the entire family had chosen to wait in the patient's room instead of the waiting room and for some reason it just seemed to make it all the harder for J.D. "Mrs. Willous...I'm sorry..." J.D watched as the women's face turned from hopeful to disbelief. "She didn't make it threw the surgery."

"What do you mean she didn't make it? You said it was a safe procedure!" The women stated. "You said that everything would be okay if she got the surgery! That's what you said."

"I'm sorry..."

_Why is it..._

"No, no your not sorry! Your not supposed to be sorry!"

_That even though people can't be perfect,_

"You shouldn't be sorry, because she shouldn't be gone! Your a doctor! Your supposed to always be right!"

_Other's always expect them to?_

Turk took this time to step into the room, he knew that the family wasn't about to stick up for the doctor, not when he had obviously just failed them all, so it was Turk who took the opportunity to stand up instead. "Mrs. Willous, if it was anyone's fault...it was mine. I did the surgery, and I apologize, I've never made a mistake like that before...I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry?" Mrs. Willous glanced between the two of them. "You don't get it sorry's not good enough! Sorry's not going to bring back my mother!"

_Why is it that..._

"Your a surgeon! Your trained to help people! Your not aloud to make mistakes!" The women was now in tears and finally her husband had stood up to comfort her.

_Everyone demands other's to be something impossible...?_

Dr Cox raced into the room, a look of determination on his face as he quickly grabbed for the paddles and called out: Clear! There was no way that he was losing this patient today, it didn't matter that it was some rich aristocrat or the fact that the old man was one on the board of medicine. No, it was because this was his patient, and every patient he received was his responsibility, and he always took that responsibility to heart.

"Clear!" He called again, the body beneath him jerked with the impact, but still the heart monitor was flat.

"Clear!" Dr Cox shouted for the third time, but still the outcome was no good.

"Clear!"

Dr Cox sighed as he placed the paddles down and turned to look at one of the nurse's. "Call it." He muttered leaving the room.

Well...that was one less patient for him to worry about at the moment.

J.D had taken a break, and for the last hour had hid himself away in the on call room. Unfortunately someone wasn't going to let him sulk for his break.

"Newbie, what are you doing?" A harsh voice snapped him from his thoughts.

"I'm thinking." He muttered without taking his eyes away from the ceiling.

"Well why don't you think on your own time, you have more patients to take care of."

"...I'm...afraid."

"What?" The cot gave a groan and sank, causing J.D to glance up as Dr Cox took a seat beside him.

"I'm...afraid I'll make another mistake."

"Sarah, if your still sulking after the old women, I advice you get over it. There was no way you could have been able to tell that the surgery would have gone wrong, there was a one in a million chance that a simple bypass would turn for the worse." The older doctor shook his head.

"Yeah but...that women...she..."

"J.D your a doctor, and this is a hospital. People come here _because they _think that they can be cured, they think that we are always going to be right and be able to fix them...some people just never understand that just because we're here to help, we don't make mistakes. A lot of those people forget that...we're human too." Dr Cox got to his feet before turning back towards J.D. "Now get your ass up and go help those patients of yours that are still kicking and screaming."

"Perry!" Dr Cox turned to find the devil himself making a beeline for him.

"Ah, Bobcat. What is it that you want?" The other doctor paused in his route towards the break room.

"You let Mr. Howard die today." Kelso glowered at the other.

"Well, yes Bobbio, I'd say that there was nothing much I could to save him after he flat lined." The doctor shrugged his shoulder's.

"Perry, do you even understand why I gave you Mr. Howard to begin with?" Kelso never received an answer so instead he went on after a sigh. "I gave him to you, because your the best damn doctor in this place, and I knew that he would be in good hands if I did. I knew that you would be able to treat him and I wouldn't have to worry. But here I find out that instead, you've let him die."

Dr Cox didn't reply for some time, which was an odd thing on his part, but as J.D watched from the nurse's desk he couldn't help but feel a bit odd by the other's reactions.

_I think I've finally understood..._

"Well Bobbo..."

_Why people want others to be perfect. _

"If you wanted so bad to make sure he was able to get up and still be able to pay this hospital and support it, well then maybe you should have treated him instead. Maybe instead of relying on someone else you should have done it yourself." Dr Cox stated calmly before turning and heading off towards the break room.

_It's because they can never be such a thing themselves, _

"Newbie...let's go." J.D was taken aback by the sudden invitation, but turned and followed after the other doctor despite the fact that his feet didn't seem to want to move.

_So they seek out what they can't be in others, but..._

J.D watched as Dr Cox took a seat on the sofa flipping on the TV as he began to surf the channels.

_Most of the time without realizing it-_

"Well, Catherin are you going to sit down or not?"

"Wha-?"

Dr Cox turned a glare onto the other. "This is a once in a lifetime offer there, Julia. At the moment I need someone who's not a total ass, and can at least...in a way brighten up a room." Dr Cox muttered, motioning about the room without even taking his eyes away from the television.

_They find someone who holds all the things their not..._

A large grin crossed J.D's face as he plopped down onto the couch, and in a way he did seem to notice that with him in the room people seemed to act more freely. The interns that had just a moment ago been trying to exchange a conversation in whispers, was suddenly chattering away like they were the only one's in the room.

_And in that way, they find the one person who completes them..._

It was a bad idea and he knew it even before he had tried it , but he did it anyway, it was most likely pushing a little to far but as long as the other was being...in his own way, kind, J.D was going to push it as far as it could go.

_And together..._

J.D leaned back, until he was leaning up against Dr Cox, his head resting on his shoulder, the other turning to look down at him with a huff.

_They make the impossible..._

J.D awaited for the harsh comment, but instead Dr Cox simply moved his shoulder just the slightest as he eyed J.D. "If you try putting your head in my lap, I'm putting your head threw the wall."

_...possible._

"Okay." J.D grinned widely as Dr Cox turned his attention back towards the television.

**I realized that a lot of it is stretched out, especially J.D's thoughts, if you didn't understand it, you might just want to go back and read the thoughts alone. It might be easier. Read and review ^_^**


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